Off Duty Fatty

Normal ish from the front... size of a small car from the rear. 

Tumblr Photo set - BBW models

Are these women fat, curvy, normal....  .. or just women??

Tumblr Repost

I’m off for a week now, on Holiday with the Lord, to Europe to spend some time with my parents and won’t be back until the other side of V-day. 

It’s been a strange old week, had a few goodbyes to make and a few more hellos. My patience with people is at an all time low and this house buying malarky is utter maddness. Once i survive it.. IF i survive it i will post some helpful advice cos, bejesus, FTB’s need it and there is a massive lack of it out there.

Would you solely rely on the advice of someone who has their right hand stuck in your purses drawing out their fees? If u answered yes.. u may as well remove all the monies from the nearest atm and drop it on the ground!

Have a fun Valentines. Make your card, make a mix cd, crack open the wine and cook a nice meal for your other health. IE make an effort not just a quick launch down to the nearest Hallmarks where u feel u laboured over picking a card. Do something personal! 

If you’re single, don’t mope, get your girls round and have a love in. Or self love.. (no filth intended)  do all those things for urself and remember u are as amazing single as u are involved. A relationship doesn’t define you, just enchances u and it’s alright to wait for a good catch to come along. 

Kevin Smith and Joy Behar interview

Kevin Smith talking about his recent 65lbs weight loss and what happened on that SouthWestern flight.

Just listen to the way Joy Behar cuts him up. His points are erratic but interesting. Also.. loads of ridiculous comments at the bottom of the page. Seems anyone with a computer is a medical genius! FAT IS BAD… MMMMKAY…. Moron! 

If he has lost 65lbs .. those Southwestern seats must be hugely generous if he says he didn’t spill over into seats when he was heavier. 

His points about the media switcharound on the meaning of his words, taking it as licence to be offensive is a point well made. But people/groups usurping the meaning behinds terms used to identify differing subcultures as a means to subjugate is well documented and with differing success. 

Where different cultures, countries, colours and achievers meet, you will find this. 

Video

Crystal Renn.... hear it straight from the horses mouth!!

Quote

“The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”

—	Muhammed Ali

Kiss and Make up

SKIN

We are covered in the stuff, but before we go slopping stuff on with a trowel, we need to look after the icing on our cakes. 

I have normal to dry skin. I also have chemical burns on my cheeks (right side is worse) and therefore permanantly rosy cheeks. My biggest bugbear is dry skin, so this is how i take care of it:

Pat your face with warm water and exfoliate with Body Shops Facial buff, once a week. 

Cleanse and tone with Body Shops Vit E range. This stuff is INSANELY good, deep pores on my cheeks, dry patchs on my burns, colour variation, all evened out. 

When it comes to moisturising, if i need something light i’ll use Johnsons & Johnsons baby lotion or for something heavier, Nivea Creme.

Base

Two things i do here. For light wear, i just use No7 Intelligent Colour Foundation. I have pale skin, and this blends in beautifully. It is also SPF15 .. very important !! 

For a more complete look you can use a primer then your foundation. I add contoring by using a darker pigment powder, then finish by fixing the look with a translucent powder.

Eyes

As with your skin, you need to prime the area. A mini compact like this, is perfect! Cream gives a better finish than powder, but don’t go to heavy if you want a sharp look that will hold it’s own for hours. 

I hate liquid eyeliners with a passion. Go for a soft kohl pencil.. and for goodness sake make sure it is sharp, you dont want wood shards in your eye as you drag it along. Alternatively, wet a liner brush and pat it in the pigment of your choice. Dress it up how ever you fancy with colour and blending. 

Mascara is a must and if you want to wear Falsies, go for it, they are easy. Don’t shy from them but try not to wear 3 layers at once. Your a human not a babydoll. 

Lips

Red lipstick (corail des Mers) or a nude/apricot gloss. SIMPLE! 

Takes me about 10 - 25 minutes, if i have my game on! 

FOR SOME INSANELY GOOD MAKE VIDEOS LOOK HERE   X X X 

Feeling Frugal?

So i’ve provided links on good online retailers to get high street fat fashion. Now it’s cosmetics and perfume.

Fragrance direct - great UK site (does ship far and wide) with a wide variety of products from Bourjois lipsticks to Calvin Klein Foundation. Elizabeth Arden 8 hour Defence to Bio Oil. Standard delivery is just £1.99. Variety of huge savings. 

Feel Unique - Fresh looking site with familiar brands such as Neals Yard, bareMinerals, Nubar, Clarins, YSL and Elizabeth Arden.

Discount Cosmetics 4 u - Okay, the name is uninspired but they have a variety of higher brand cosmetics from favourites such as Stila, YSL, POP, Pixie and Benefit

A poem about me.. apparantly

“Sometimes you might snore in bed
and eat up all the food
but even with these imperfections
Torbag I love you :p xxxxx”

Tom

.. yes he calls me Torbag and no.. it’s not because it rhymes with something rude..

Come fly with me..... as long as u are thin and can fit!

So a week tomorrow i fly away on holiday with Tom, to see my parents for a few days over Valentines day.

(My folks live in Portugal and the idea was Toms.. i think my mum is convinced he is going to propose)

Anyway, I conquered my stupid fear of flying, last October when The Lord and I headed over to Portugal for a joint birthday present to ourselves and so he could meet my folks. I’d been scared of flying for years and to be frank, I didn’t get to see much of my parents because of this. 

Long story short, with the right person by my side, I LOVED IT.. i mean really LOVED IT.  

So now i am getting ready to jet off again and you know when i get my fat ass on board i will be hollering (nicely) for the fatty belly belt. (My size means i can’t sit in the front row as you’re not allowed to use the belt here but thats not too much both as u don’t get a window view.) 

Now before some muppet starts heckling about Fat Rights. My CHOICE is that i would rather land alive and in one comfortable piece than not being restrained properly when i needed to because i was trying to prove a rubbish point. 

So sit in the rows i do but as a big unit i do think about the welfare of my fellow passengers. 

If my bulging booty is creeping out into someone else seats, damn straight that’s not fair, they paid the same as me afterall and i am taking up their space. So why do so many fat men and women get the arse about it?

If you are to fat to fit in the space provided, you need more space.. er go.. you need another ticket.  And before you ask, no skinny people or children should not pay less just because they don’t take up the designated space. Ahh the magic word designated. 

“oh but they should make the seats bigger” … don’t be stupid. Airlines are a business, not a fat charity. If they make the seats bigger, the costs go up.Either way, you are going to pay for it. And why should the majority pay for the minority? The seats in low cost travel for most airlines i have flown, are totally reasonable. Long haul flights are normally even more generous. 

What concerns me, is that it is done with tact. Let the hippo on the plane first (think like Noah) and  let them try the seat in privacy before everyone else, like when they seat anyone else with special treatment. When doing so, have a member of their party sit with them. See if the two of them balance out. If they do. Job done, no extra ticket. If you are still packing too big and you’re going to cause discomfort to others, then ask them to buy an extra ticket or refund what they paid and don’t let them fly. 

Believe me, if you are encroaching on my space, for the ticket i worked hard for to pay for, I am going to have a problem with it. I am not flying 3 -9 hours in discomfort for anyone, other than a peanut -  melon sized baby which is inside me. Or because Tom is farting. Sadly it’s a biological pre-disposition for him.

Alas poor Torlilah.. we knew her well..

.. no you didnt, you drama queens! Mostly because i have not been around this past week. Apologies for that but it has been all go.

So, first things first.. i’m on my way to being a homeowner :D In the space of a year i have managed to acheive the 3 things i wanted above all others. 

1 - Get a promotion (and a pay rise)

2 - Have the chance to explore a relationship with Tom

3 - Get on to the property ladder. 

Getting into property in the UK is not easy unless u have a bloody good annual income, at least 15k and possibly a parental guarantor. I earn in excess of 25k, but living on your own is expensive. 

But finally.. i got here. Or should that be we. 

Yes, Tom and I are to buy our first home together and we couldn’t be happier. In fact, i have never seen Tom as loved up or happy as this. I guess it’s direction and an end to the being so far apart. 8 months in and so far, things have just got better and better. 

We all have dodgy relationships, i have had the works; the violent one, the lazy one, the insecure one, the flirty one and the one who should have been left at birth. Most have never been serious because i hold most people at a distance, including friends, but i think this is worth a punt. 

My parents have been together for 28 years and fell pregnant with me about 2 months after getting together.. so heck.. bring on the world of conveyancing, mortgage arrangements, removal companies and serious commitment. 

I AM READY FOR YOU!!